I'm a bad blogger

So, blogging once every 6 months sort of defeats the purpose of blogging, right? I haven't posted anything since August, so what does that mean. Am I just busy? Do I have absolutely nothing to say? I think it's a bit of both. I have been working like crazy, caring for my father who is dying of leukemia, training for a half-marathon, and going through the motions of a working mom and wife. Busy? For sure. Nothing to say? Maybe in my mind, nothing of interest to anyone else. Should I just stop kidding myself and hang up my blogging ambitions? Really, do I really need to share my innermost thoughts in such a public way? Is it even public if no one reads this? I guess this is just my 40 year old version of a diary. I tried writing in a diary when I was a little girl. It looks very much like my blog. Lots of activity...then nothing for weeks or months at a time. After long periods of not writing in my diary, I would actually go back to each page I miss and write, "Sorry" "Sorry" "Sorry" - as if I was letting my diary down by not recording a daily thought. Is that something I should apologize for? Why do I feel compelled to express myself some days and not others? I am doing a lot of things. But am I really living? Experiencing? I think I'm begining to realize that I have to LIVE my life MORE in order to have something to write about. So what will I do next? What experience will I force myself to have - get outside of my comfort zone - that will ultimately be blog worthy? Stay tuned. This will be the challenge I give to myself in 2011. Live. More.