Thankful

Thanksgiving can go fuck itself. Along with the rest of the holidays. That's right. Take your turkey and shove it. Take your Black Friday sales. Your recipes. Your tips for not gaining weight. Your gift guides. Your pumpkin spice vanilla latte birch pine scented candles.

 Oh....that felt good! I don't really feel this way. I actually enjoy the holidays. I just needed a little cathartic bitch relief.

So this is the time of year we're supposed to reflect and be appreciative for what we have. Yes, I'm thankful for my health, my kids, for my job, blah blah blah. That's all a given. So what else am I really thankful for? Here's my top five:

1. Not having to cook this Thanksgiving. We are going out. That means I get to wear my pajamas for almost a full 24 hours before having to get ready to go. All you 40+ year old working moms appreciate what a gift that is.
2. Binge watching. I don't know who came up with the concept, but well done fellow couch potato.
3. Those extra large wine glasses that fit an entire bottle of wine. Finally!
4. Fuzzy socks. My best friend buys me a new pair every year for my bday as a tradition. It's like making love to a kitten with your foot. Meeeoow.
5. Amazon Prime. Hi-tech impulse buying on crack. And you can do it in your pajamas. (See #1)

That's about all the reflection I can handle the day before Turkey Murder Day.  I hope everyone has a happy day filled with whatever you are thankful for!